Past relationships should be left where they are- in the past. People who keep reliving past relationships may fall into the trap of not being able to move on. This can seriously harm or do a lot of damage to current or future relationships.
Although past relationships may give you fond memories of how happy you once were, it should not be used as an excuse why you can’t establish new relationships with other people. People should have to learn how to leave a past relationship behind and move on. The past is something that you can no longer change. You should use past relationships to strengthen and reinforce your current one. But in no way should you try to compare a past relationship or try to bring it back or even relive it. You must learn to let go and move on. Try to keep in mind the lessons learned and be wiser not to make the same mistakes again.
The best way to learn to let go of a past relationship is by telling yourself that it is over. Trying to pine for hope that the past can still be rebuilt will lead you no where but further despair and frustration. Once a past relationship has ended, make sure that you put a period on it and let it go. It may not be easy, but you should be determined enough to do so if ever you wish to establish another relationship with someone.
If you're having trouble letting go, remember these things:
There is life after relationships end.
One day this past relationship will just be something you did once. You'll go on and you'll have what you create.
Get out of denial
Ask yourself, do you really want a new healthier relationship, or are you hanging onto past hurts out of fear?
Stop wasting time
Grieving and anger don’t have a time frame on them, but life does. Whether you realize it or not, life is marching on. There comes a time when you have to accept the fact and say, "I've got to get on with my life, I've got to get on with raising my children, I've got to get on with putting things together where I can be a happy, meaningful, productive member of society." Find a way to put one foot in front of the other and move forward.
Take the catastrophic language out of your mind
"My life is over," "I've lost everything," and "Things are horrible" are labels that can have a powerful impact on how you feel. Recognize that it's factually not true. Your life isn't over, it's just a new beginning for you. Changing the negative tapes that run in your head can change how you physically feel.
Don't waste time with regret of your past decisions
At some point you have to say, "It is what it is." You can't do anything about what you did before; but you can do a lot about what you're doing now.
Be an example for your children
What kind of parent do you think your kids are experiencing when you're sitting around upset at your ex and being absorbed with the past instead of enjoying what is happening in your life right now?
And for those people that need one last time to reminisce about an ex before getting on with their life, here’s a classic jam Love TKO by Teddy Pendergrass.
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