Professor Leo Buscaglia once said, “Psychologists, psychiatrists, sociologists, anthropologists and educators have suggested in countless studies and numerous research papers that love is a learned response, a learned emotion . . . Most of us continue to behave as though love is not learned but lies dormant in each human being and simply awaits some mystical age of awareness to emerge in full bloom. Many wait for this age forever. We seem to refuse to face the obvious fact that most of us spend our lives trying to find love, trying to live in it and dying without ever truly discovering it.”
We live in a country where the divorce rate is 50 percent for first marriages, 67 percent for the ambitious second marriage and 74 percent for those who actually believe the third time’s the charm. Is this because pop culture promotes unrealistic expectations of love in our society, or is it because of a popular modern trend of settling for mates that arouse our lust but fail to stimulate our psyche and soul?
Some may think I’m downright naïve, but I believe that people that have never experienced real love are more willing to fall for relationships based on lust and people that have been hurt deeply will remain too ‘closed off’ to trust anyone fully. I think it’s time to let go of the fear and chose to love.
It is not enough to feel loving. We must be sensitive to the others “love language.” You know what I mean. For one person, love means gassing up their car and making sure the kids are picked up from soccer practice on time. For another it means a surprise weekend away. The critical issue is that you become sensitive to learning your mate's love language. A love relationship requires an ability to constantly set one’s agenda aside to be alert for ways to meet your mate’s love needs.
Love requires action – thoughtful action. It is not enough to feel it. Each of us wants to receive love in action. So, if you are really ready for love, you are ready for the work involved in learning your mate’s love language—even if it changes over time. You are ready to anticipate his or her needs.
"Love has no desire but to fulfill itself. To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night. To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving."- Kahlil Gibran
This blog covers novel completion, fellow authors and pop culture