Unfortunately, we live in a culture that is very me-centered. A few of my friends have been a little frustrated with their partners lately. Most of this stems from the fact that they are not getting what they think they need or what they think they should be getting.
Now let’s be honest, most people say that they want to be best friends with their mates. They want to talk constantly, go on long walks together, and enjoy each other’s company but how many are willing to make the investment in their relationship. If you’re willing to do the work, think about implementing the following things to make your partner your best friend:
Make a list of what you would want in a best friend. If you were going to advertise for a best friend, what would the ad look like? How about this:
WANTED - BEST FRIEND
Prospective candidates will:
* Make me feel good about being me.
* Affirm my best qualities (especially when I am feeling insecure)
* Brings out the best in me, and hold me accountable to the best version of myself.
* Listen without judgement or with the desire to try to fix me.
* Give me the benefit of the doubt.
* Extend grace to me when I am moody or having a bad day.
* Remember my birthday, favorite foods, music, and hobbies.
* Know my story and love me regardless.
* Enjoy spending time with me because they like my company.
* Speak well of me when I am not present.
* Serve me with a joyful spirit and without complaining.
* Speak the truth to me when no one else will.
* Never shame me, diminish me, or make me feel small.
* Become excited about what I am excited about.
* Celebrate my wins!
Now become that person for your mate. That’s right. Turn the table. Make this a list of the kind of friend you will become. I can promise you this: anyone who does half of these kinds of things will have more friends than he or she knows what to do with. But what if you focused this effort on your partner? Think of the possibilities.
Nurtures the relationship. How long will it take to create this kind of relationship? It all depends on where you are starting. For some, it might be several months. For others, it might take years. Friendships are like gardens; they must be cultivated. The key is to be consistent and persistent—without expectations.
In building your relationship it is always important to remember that the only person that you can change is yourself; you should never focus on changing someone else. If you want to be better friends with your partner, you need to start with you, and work on being a better friend to him or her. Really, this is just the golden rule, “Do to others what you would want them to do to you.” It takes time, effort, commitment, patience, wisdom, perseverance, understanding, and a forgiving heart to become best friends with your mate.
To become best friends and avoid breaking up or fighting incessantly, make time for one another, respect each other, talk to each other, and work hard on your relationship every day.
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