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Novelist Brenda Novak Gives Advice About Relationships

8/26/2009

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I just read a wonderful article by Allen Pierleoni that I think you should read.   It's about Brenda Novak, an award winning, best-selling romantic suspense novelist.  (See article at http://www.kansas.com/living/family/story/942436.html ) 

As a well-established romance writer, Brenda Novak is viewed as an authority on relationships between men and women. As such, her readers expect her to know a few things about how to keep love alive.


Here, then, are some of her ideas on "how to make love last."
1. Avoid negative thought patterns.
2. Remember that this person means more to you than anyone else including your parents and your kids.
3. Be more flexible and forgiving with your spouse than you are of your friends and neighbors. Reserve your patience and kindness for the person who means the most to you.
4. Understand that relationships work on a spiral: The more thoughtful you are with your loved one, the more fulfilled and happy he or she will be, and the more he or she will give back to you.
5. Don't get too practical. Some couples forgo the flowers, the cards, the dinner dates and the chocolates in favor of saving money. But what's worth more to you? A few bucks or a relationship that will likely affect your whole life?
6. Try to do something nice for your spouse every day, even if it's just a chore he or she typically does.
7. Be physical and touch a lot. These little reminders that a spouse cares are nurturing to the soul and send wonderful signals to your children.
8. Remain loyal. Have the grit it takes to stick together through thick and thin.
9. Be unselfish. Life isn't all about you. Worry more about whether you're being a good spouse than whether your spouse is being a good mate to you.
10. Take care of yourself mentally and physically. In other words, be someone you'd like to be with.
11. Laugh. It's no fun to be around someone when everything means too much and weighs too heavily.
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