Giving Compassionate Love to Your Mate

Every relationship that you hold in your life acts as a mirror through which you can see yourself, be it your relationship with your parents, siblings, friends, colleagues or your intimate partner. For most people, their relationship with their companion is usually the most challenging because it becomes a “strong” mirror where you will see every facet of yourself reflecting back at you.

A relationship is supposed to be a “celebration” of life, a highly rewarding and fulfilling experience, and it’s up to you to give unselfishly to your mate. Now, there’s a huge difference between really giving to another and giving so you can get something back in return. When we are secretly waiting for reciprocity, it’s nothing more than manipulation. On the other hand, joy is based upon true giving. When we learn to give sincerely, it is almost impossible to be upset or sad. The giving itself is its own return.

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True giving means generosity with no strings attached. It's giving your partner something that he would like, not something that pleases you. It means taking time to know the person and being willing to meet his needs. Some people fear giving, feeling that they will be drained or stripped bare. But the opposite is true. The more we give, the more we have. Giving brings a sense of fullness and kindness, the basis for the development of joy. We should take the time to do things that require effort, planning and a little bit of sacrifice. It will show you’re putting the other person first.

Researchers call this "compassionate love"—recognizing a partner's needs and concerns and putting them ahead of your own. It's not just making people feel good; it’s a way of communicating to the other person that you understand what their needs and that you appreciate them.

Small selfless acts between spouses aren't just nice—they ARE necessary. When acts of kindness and caregiving disappear, it is a BIG indication the relationship needs help. And when you’re compassionate to your partner, it increases your own happiness at least as much as the other person's.  People who discover ways to regularly show their spouses and partners this kind of love are happier in their relationships.

Think of a loving way to give to your better half today.

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