There will be many moments when you’ll need to take a beat and reflect on your life.
My grandfather taught me that lesson, not by scolding me or with a lecture, just in our quiet conversations under his massive Willow tree. We use to sit on his lawn and enjoy the afternoon Florida breeze dancing through the droopy branches above our heads. He said, “You’ll be amazed at the things God makes you ponder when you finally sit still.”
I didn’t understand him fully at the time but I do now.
When I reflect on my life, my mind drifts to various instances; some that brought great pain and others that brought me tremendous joy. I think about the people that positively touched my life and the ones that wanted selfish gains. In my quiet moments, I remember God’s teachings and feel my grandfather’s presence as he roots for me to move toward my happiness.
For the most part, I’m on the right path but … I need to embrace the wisdom in my heart more. I need to be okay with letting go. Last weekend I was utterly devastated by the words of a person I’d treated like family. I was in a dark, cold bathroom crying on the floor as the rewind of callous words rang in my ears.
It broke me. I felt my heart actually aching as my head reeled from the moment.
Everything I knew about my connection with this person was in question. Their motives, their feelings, their promises, all of it faded to black as their current declarations rung in my ears. Words filled with venom and obstinate instantly washed away the façade of my reality.
Then the last tear fell.
I decided to accept the truth confronting me. A grand allusion was exposed and I finally knew, with all certainty, how unyielding things would be if I continued to ignore the truth.
I didn’t have to beg God for the answers because He showed me. Right there in the darkness of that bathroom, He revealed it all and my shaky breathing slowed… and the burden in my anguish started to subside.
I knew what needed to happen next… so I dried my face and exited the bathroom to wait for morning…
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