Guiding Adult Children...From a Distance

I check the mailbox and receive a first class mail letter from my mother. It’s a rare act in the world of email and phone calls so I knew it had to be a serious matter.

My mother and her siblings come from a strong God-centered, family-oriented household. My grandparents always placed the responsibility of guiding children squarely upon parents. And directed their children to teach their offspring to love and serve one another, keep the commandments of God, honor their parents, and to be contributing citizens of the world.

The hard part for all parents is to guide children without being too coercive or controlling but somehow my grandparents always encouraged desirable behavior with positive reinforcement, with clear and firm rules and expectations, and they enforced the consequences of breaking them. Their gentle-but-firm guidance was crucial because it was passed down through the generations and has help my own children develop an internal sense of self-responsibility and morality.

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So I sat down with this letter from my mother and tore the envelope open.  It’s a one page, typed document and the language and signature at the bottom defiantly belonged to her. She decided to send me and my brother a birthday letter each year to impart some of her wisdom and her concerns.  (NOTE: My brother Wayne and I have birthdays in February.)  Her words gave me a strong confirmation that my desire to launch my New Adult series, Jacmuir and to follow God’s example in all things would be pleasing to God and my family. (See her letter below). 

I hadn’t spoken to my mother about my resolution to surrender to the will of Christ in all things because I wasn’t sure how to explain some of my relationship mistakes.  See my ex-boyfriends and ex-fiancé were handsome, decent men, by the world’s standards, but I knew my family wouldn’t approve of their lack of integrity and some of their disrespectful actions. I worried about explaining why I gave so much of myself to people, organizations, and things that didn’t support my spiritual walk. I knew the tears would come and then I would hear her disappointment so I made up my mind I would tell her when I return home later in the year. (She lives in Florida and I live in New Jersey.)

As God would have it, my mother had the strong feeling to write me a letter before I returned home. It was like she was writing her side of the conversation we hadn’t even had. 

I know she’s concerned about the status of her health and the number of days she has left on this earth so I’m very appreciative of her love and her guidance. Standing firm on my beliefs has given me so much clarity now. I have a great support system with my family and friends. #TeamWorthTheWait  I don’t know how my choices will affect my writing style but I’m looking forward to seeing what unfolds in the months and years to come.

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