There are times in my life where I found myself paralyzed by doubt. It was sudden, tragic, and to me, devastating. I’ve sat alone wondering if God took a much needed vacation at the exact moment my life imploded around me. We’ve all been there. We set the goals, make the plans, and one person’s action or a life event turns everything upside down. And after the initial shock wears off we’re left wondering "now what'?
In the past, I use to question the person or the circumstance, and try to change the outcome. I foolishly believed my desire alone could make things remain the way I wanted them to be. Now, I understand everything happens for a reason and I’ll be okay no matter what, but that doesn’t mean I can handle every punch life throws at me.
I had to teach myself to get motivated to begin again. After every misstep, trial, heartbreak, and difficulty I had to graciously press forward when I’d rather sit and drown my sorrows in ice cream and old movies. It was hard. That’s right, I’m not going to lie and tell you that you’ll dust yourself off and tactfully smile through the next step. Starting over feels like you’re a new recruit at a hellish, military boot camp, the only difference is the only person pushing you forward is you.
If you’re lucky, you’ll have someone you trust to help your progress towards your next steps. If not, you’ll need to make the rough decision to move on alone because you care about getting to the next level, changing raw pain into victory, and growing from the adversity. So how do you get motivated to propel yourself towards the direction you need to go? Well this is what works for me:
1. Tell yourself the truth.
If you made a mistake own up to it and transform the energy of
frustration and disappointment into the energy of motivation. Listening to your heart and get in tune with your inner self. Are you really excited about the things you are doing or do you sense a hesitation that you can’t quite explain?
2. Set specific goals. Setting goals directs your behavior by focusing your attention, allowing you to measure your progress, and take steps to meet your objectives. Setting realistic and attainable goals are also more motivating than setting vague ones.
3. You give yourself incentives. If you want to write a few chapters of your novel in a week or get out of debt, then make the payoff worth it. Pampering work for me but if you like to treat yourself to a new pair of shoes or the latest electronic gadget, then by all means do so. (Unless your goal is to watch your spending habits. LOL)
4. Accept what can’t be changed. When bad things happen in our lives, we try to fix them or change them. But sometimes we can’t. If you can make yourself accept the things you cannot change – you will become a much happier person. Acceptance allows us to start finding a way to cope much faster. Save yourself from wasting hours in a bad mood by just getting on with life.
3. Get rid of negative people. I don’t like saying this but negative people tend to harp on the bad things and ignore the positive stuff. They also have a tendency to exaggerate issues they’re facing, making their predicament seem a lot worse than it actually is. The outcomes are extremely draining and can affect you for the rest of the day. In the past, I spent a lot of time with negative people, trying to help them with their issues. It drained a lot of my energy and was often futile, which led me to rethink my methods. Ever since then, I worked on cultivating positivity by hanging out with positive friends and business partners which is more rewarding.
I hope you have a blessed week and decide to tackle your problems head on.
NOTE: On Monday, July 26, 2012, Stephen R. Covey, author of "The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People," died unexpectedly. The world is saddened by his passing, but blessed by his 79 years of life. In the video below he speaks about his latest work to help others solve their problems.
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