It’s the end of another year so I’ll stop and reflect on life, love, and opportunities. I was blessed to be able to network with some wonderful authors this year and contribute to a new online men’s magazine.  That was a lot of fun.  I’m a board member of  CIMRWA and I’m looking forward to getting to know more authors and to promote their works on the web.

As a mother, I can happily report that both of my college-aged daughters are happy and healthy.  I loved being mistaken for their older sister this year but I’m also enjoying watching them mature into wonderful young women. 

Speaking of family, I’m so in love with my Mommy right now.  Her wisdom and encouragement have been apropos to every situation and I’m blessed for it.  Everyone tells you how wonderful motherhood will be but they never tell you how much it changes the depth of your capacity to love.

 It like God took a piece of your heart out of your body and put it into another.  When I look at my daughters I filled with awe.  They are wonderful human beings with the ability to make me laugh like no one else…and I mean the big belly laughs that make tears come from my eyes.  Their father, my ex-husband, and I are very blessed. We did something right during those ten years of marriage because they’ve given us joy since the moment they were born.

In the coming year, I’ll make a few resolutions like the rest of the world.  I’m praying God with bless me with the strength and wisdom to make my dreams come to pass. I know I have plenty of work ahead of me to complete the novels I wish to complete and to help me daughters accomplish their goals but I’m prayerfully ready to move forward.  One step at a time.

I just want to take a moment to remind you that you can do whatever you want to do. You don’t have to push down your dreams and mindlessly watch people act a fool on reality TV.  You are ‘one thought’ away from your greatness.  You are one ‘idea’ away from the greatest experience of your life.  The good book says, ‘As a man thinketh in his heart so is he’.  If you think you can’t do something, then you can’t do it.  It you think you deserve the best life you’ve ever had, then you’ll begin to create it.

Don’t think about your life in limitations or as defined by others’ opinions.  Why put yourself in such a small mindset?  Your thoughts become your reality so if you think your future partner will be the same as every person you’ve ever dated in the past, then they will be.  You’re creating the same because you’re expecting the same.  If you think you can only get money from one job, then you’ll only have one source of revenue.  You need to change your mindset and make this next year your new beginning.

Think long and hard about where you want to be and what you want to have in your life and then look long and hard at your actions and reactions.  They will tell you everything you need to know. 

You’re a creator of your own life.  Everything is not happening without your input.  Either you’re in agreement with what is happening in your life or you have a strong desire for things to change.  Stop waiting for something outside of yourself to make the change occur, demand change from within yourself. 

If you want a better job, then start looking for one.  If you want a better financial situation, then look at your debts, create a budget, and start debt repayment plan. If you’re tired of all of the negative people in your life creating drama, then refuse to have them around you any longer.  You need to get your head together and take charge of your life.  You deserve to enjoy every day you’re spending on this planet so get up the courage to demand your best life.

If you’re a parent, you owe it to your children to make this change.  If you currently think they must get use to reacting to life, instead of being proactive and creating the life they want , then you’re doing them an injustice.  Teach them to speak their truth and make life changes that will increase their joy and happiness. 

Remember, all of us only have one life to live and none of us should let fears hold us back from the greatest time in our lives. 

Have a very Happy and Joyous New Year.

It’s easy to re-play your version of painful stories of how you’ve been wronged.  We do it about hurts caused by colleagues at work, our friends, family members, and even the people we profess to love intimately.

It’s a hard thing to do – to let go of something painful and forgive the person who may or may not realize they’ve deeply hurt you.  But you must try.  I know at your angriest point, you probably convinced yourself the person that caused you pain, did it with full intention to wound you and with intense cruelty in their heart.  So you probably don't feel one shred of compassion towards them.  But you may be completely wrong about their reasons.

Take a step back. Unless the person is a complete sociopath, they aren’t without feeling.  If they hurt you, odds are they feel badly for cause you any pain.  Remember everyone carries their own pain which influences the decisions they make. This doesn’t condone their thoughtless, insensitive, or selfish decisions, but it should them easier to understand. After all, none of us are perfect. Making mistakes is part of the human condition.  And if someone has extended a sincere apology, think long a hard before you reject it.

Dr. Everett Worthington, a psychologist who has researched forgiveness for decades, has developed a five-step process called REACH:

R is for Recall. Recall the events and the hurt as accurately and objectively as you can. (State the facts, Ma'am just the facts.)

E is for Empathize. Try to understand what happened from the point of view of the person who wronged you. (NOTE: Don't try to empathize with sociopaths and murderers. let the courts deal with them and just honor the memories of your loved ones in positive ways.)

A is for the Altruistic gift of forgiveness. Recall a time that you hurt someone else and were forgiven. And offer this gift to the person who wronged you.

C is for Committing yourself to forgive publicly. Write a letter of forgiveness (whether you send it or not), write in a journal, tell a trusted friend, or, if you can, tell the person who wronged you.

H is for Holding onto forgiveness. Forgiving is not forgetting. Memories of the wrong and feelings will come up. Remind yourself that you have made a choice to forgive and don’t hold a grudge.

Betrayal, aggression, and just plain insensitivity: People can hurt us in a million ways, and forgiveness isn’t always easy. But bad behavior isn't always black and white, so how do you know when it's wise to take the path of forgiveness? Experts say one thing to weigh is intent.

What was the motive of the person who wronged you? Did he do it to hurt or embarrass you, or was he acting more out of weakness or carelessness? Take a pal who reveals a confidence. Did he blurt out your indiscretion because he had one too many sips of Egg Nog? Or did he do it intentionally to stir up some drama?

Another thing to consider: How important is the person in your life? Is the mistake heinous enough to scrap the relationship? If you believe the relationship is still important enough to salvage, please talk it out. End the year on a good note, if you can. Happy Holidays.

The tragedy in Newtown, Connecticut has touched everyone deeply.  At this time, law enforcement officials identified the shooter as 20-year-old Adam Lanza, who grew up in the tight-knit community of 27,000. Police say Lanza killed his mother, Nancy, at her Newtown home before going to Sandy Hook Elementary School, where he primarily targeted two classrooms.

Lanza's motives are still unclear today, though detectives are collecting some "very good evidence" at both the school and his mother's house to determine his motives.

President Barack Obama addressed the nation yesterday, with tears in his eyes, as he spoke about the children and educators that died. "They had their entire lives ahead of them: birthdays, graduations, weddings, kids of their own…We're going to have to come together and take meaningful action to prevent more tragedies like this, regardless of politics."

With Christmas fast approaching, I can’t help but think about the parents that must look at the gifts their deceased children will never open.  They will plan funeral arrangements instead of enjoying a celebratory holiday gathering.  What heartbreak.  

Please keep the residents of Newtown in your hearts and prayers.  As the shooter’s story unfolds in the next few weeks, remember the flags at half-staff and the number of vigils being held at houses of worship in Newtown.  And if you don’t do anything else, hug your family and let them know how thankful you are to share Christmas with them this year.