![]() Hi everyone. Taryn Raye nominated me for the Versatile Blogger award and I’m extremely flattered. To accept, I need to state seven random facts about myself and tag fifteen other bloggers. A great way to get to know more about me and for you to meet other bloggers I’m a big fan of. You guys know so much already so this will be a little hard for me. Since random facts can be small things, here we go: 1. I have more pillows on my bed that most people need to sleep but they are great for leaning back and curling up with a great book or my laptop. 2. The best hugs are the ones that you give when you heart is smiling so when I hug someone I love I hold them for more than a few seconds. Who knows that could be the only hug they get that day. :) 3. When I fully commit to something or someone, I stay and fight until the end or until the person tells me, or shows me, our union would be injudicious. So I’m a bit protective of my time and my heart, if I give either it’s because I’m believing in all that’s possible from such a joining. The essence of me is an eternal optimist that believes in love to the depths of my being so I act accordingly. 4. I’m a morning person so I hardly ever wake up in a bad mood. I’m up way before sunrise during the work week and can only sleep until 7AM on the weekends. Most of my night owl friends think my 11PM bedtime is amusing but I feel rested and happy each morning so I don’t care. 5. I know I’m perfectly comfortable with someone when I can let them be around me when I’m not all dolled up. When I’m in my own space, with my face is scrubbed clean, my hair is in a ponytail, and wearing a simple tank top and yoga pants, I’m totally content. Not many people have experienced me in that quieter, unassuming form. I usually make my world beautiful in that state, meaning I garden, cook, write, clean, read, etc so I believe it’s my prettiest state of being. 6. I reveal my feelings with the music I play in my home, in my car, or in my office. Music is the soundtrack of my life so my iPod reveals the joys, scars, laughter, and heartbreaks of my life. Every memory I’ve ever had or person I’ve ever had a relationship with I can make a song translate my feelings. 7. Every morning and evening, I stop and give thanks for the people that I’ve encountered and the relationships I’ll have in the future. Doing this makes me look at my intentions of my actions and helps me remember some people are only in my life for a season, reason, or lifetime. I honor all of the lessons I’ve learned and believe everything God does is purposeful. And the fifteen bloggers I'm nominating:
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![]() My seventh installment at the Social Gods.com website is up so join me there. Have you ever been around someone with a very bad temper? They can go off like Mount Vesuvius at the slightest provocation. Well when a man finds himself starting to falling love with a woman with a short fuse, he’ll notice a sudden shift in his rationality as he sacrifices his peace of mind to make the relationship work. In my article, Should You Deal with Her Terrible Temper? , I implore guys to take a hard look at the violent outbursts and emotional tantrums of the women in their lives. I hope you’ll continue to support me sharing my opinions with the large male audience at the Social Gods.com and send me your feedback. Enjoy! ***NOTE*** I'm a semi-finalist for best author blog in the 2012 Black Weblog Awards. The voting is now open so PLEASE vote for me. Thanks! http://www.blackweblogawards.com/vote-here/
![]() Dear Evelyn, I’ve just watched your two-part interview with Iyanla Vanzant on OWN’s new show, 'Iyanla, Fix My Life' and I greatly admire your bravery to expose childhood wounds, smash negative relationship patterns, and to take an in-depth look at your life choices. Your loving commitment to your impressionable stepdaughters was apparent the moment you decided to change the image depicted by the media. It said volumes about your commitment to your responsibilities as stepmother. I was hoping that your husband (now ex-husband*) would stand with you in proclaiming a united change in your media personas, but that didn’t happen. You walked the road alone. And now your courage has been rewarded with a great accountability partner, Iyanla, at your side. You are blessed because she has walked a similar road, she is willing to help you stand in your truth, and promises to provide a safe place for you to reveal your innermost feelings. There was a time when couples were accountability partners for each other. A committed, loving relationship was one the closest connection able to uncover our emotional triggers and childhood wounds. It was so cherished that even our society held such commitments in the highest esteem. It’s the one place where a woman would never have to dismiss or deny her power as a woman. You are worthy of that type of marriage and I’m glad you’re letting go of anything not resembling that kind of a relationship. ![]() I’m proud of you for no longer permitting negative energy in your space. You stated you’ll never accept, tolerate, and accommodate inappropriate behavior, in any form, from a life partner. What a powerful step, Evelyn. You’re on the journey to healing your soul and one day you’ll look back and thank the heavens for the lessons you’ve learned from your brief union with Chad. You are finally on the road to closure and all of womanhood celebrates your awakening. It was emotional to watch you shattered the carefully crafted façade of your life and reject everything hurtful you’ve ever tolerated in a love relationship. You put your respect for yourself over trying to save face with various unknown critics. I respect your decision to not give the in-depth details about how your former NFL player husband physically disrespected you before the ‘head-butting’ incident. I hope you’ll use your knowledge to speak out to teenagers and women trapped in the cycle of abusive relationships. Don’t worry about what anyone thinks about how you chose to navigate this process. You alone must walk this path, for the little girl inside of you and for the daughter you’ve raised since 16. Former patterns and pathologies are shattered today because you realize just how much you deserve to be respected and honored. You know you don’t have to give away your dignity to be loved so take time to grieve your childhood pain and let yourself heal. And like a phoenix, you’ll rise from the ashes of your former life with a stronger awareness of your power as a woman and your mission to serve others. Big Hugs and Much Resolute Love, Angeline * - As of September 19th, 2012 the divorce of Evelyn Lozada and Chad 'Ochocinco' Johnson became final. ***NOTE*** I'm a semi-finalist for best author blog in the 2012 Black Weblog Awards. The voting is now open so PLEASE vote for me. Thanks! http://www.blackweblogawards.com/vote-here/
![]() My sixth installment at the Social Gods.com website is up so join me there. We’re in the kitchen cooking up a storm in high heels. (Laughter) Every woman can remember the moment she cooked a meal for a date she liked. Some of us stress over it for weeks, while others adore showing the world why the kitchen is their favorite room in the house. In my article, What Her Cooking Style Reveals About Her Personality, I explain how a prepared meal can shed some light on a woman’s personality and what she wants her date to know about her. It was fun to write and a few of my girlfriends are beating me up for summarizing their culinary skills. LOL I hope you’ll continue to support me sharing my opinions with the large male audience at the Social Gods.com and send me your feedback. Enjoy! ***NOTE - My contemporary romance North Star is available now in paperback and eBook formats. Please pick it up today. Thanks. http://www.amazon.com/dp/1619351226/ref=tsm_1_fb_lk *** ![]() In our technology-filled world of emails, text messages, tweets, and wall posts everyone is learning the art of brevity. Many people think this is a good thing but as our tolerant level for verbosity wanes, our aggravation towards long conversations increases. And the number of socially inept people you’ll encounter becomes more apparent with each passing day. In this environment, the art of romance is suffering. There was a time when 'XOXO' was only used by high school students at the end of a note passed in class and 'laughing out loud' actually occurred in a spontaneous moment shared in the presence of other people. And love letters were once thoughtfully written by people in love instead of only existing in a blockbuster movies and best-selling novels. Do you remember the first time you even wrote a love letter? Most of us were in middle or high school trying to express how we felt about our first true love. It was cute and filled with all of the emotions a smitten teenager could conjure up. For Baby Boomers and Generation Xers, we master the art of the love letter by turning to music lyrics and the dialogue spoken in romantic movies for inspiration (that’s why many of us love real R&B/Soul music). We believed in true love, destiny, and happiness and had no problem with anyone expressing that they wanted the same. We all knew how a divorce could shatter a family and turn a person’s views on love upside down. That’s why when we see a love letter, we stop and read it even if it’s not meant for us. (Yes, we're a curious lot.) ![]() Love letters are slowly dying because no one like the permanence of their emotions out there for others to read and re-read. It’s more vulnerable than posting a photo on Facebook or Instagram with the 'love of your life' just to take it down a few weeks later; we all know photos can be explained away. But love letters are an emotional snapshot of your feelings for another at a set point in time. Once you give it, you can’t delete it from the other person’s memory banks, or control who sees it after them. The letter can also resurface when the other person wants to make a point or when they’re seeking validation that your love is real. Is that why all of us have stop writing love letters? Fear. Is fear keeping all of us from knowing the true depth of love that we all desire to attain? Fear should not rule your decision to be your true authentic self or to love someone openly and deeply. Love involves emotional vulnerability so stop hiding behind text messages and other brevity ruses. Let your heart soar and give your sweetie a love letter that expresses just how much you adore them. It’s okay if it’s in email form but if you don’t want it to go viral, give it to them personally. It will mean so much more. ![]() My fifth installment at the Social Gods.com website is up so join me there. There are times when a man falls hard for a woman that seems to possess every quality he’s been searching for, but what should he do if he discovers this beauty is his friend’s ex? In my article, Is It Ever Okay To Date Your Friend’s Ex?, I reveal the questions a man should ask himself before he decides to make his friend’s ex his lady love. I hope you’ll continue to support me sharing my opinions with the large male audience at the Social Gods.com and send me your feedback. Enjoy! ![]() I Can Bake a Cake Over a Campfire I use to take large numbers of teenager girls camping and hiking. So I’ve picked up on many survivor skills like, how to start a fire without matches, tell directions with the stars, and how to pitch a tent in under fifteen minutes. But do you want to know the skill most of the young women wanted to learn after three days in the woods, how to cook desserts over a campfire. Yes, that’s right. They didn’t want to eat another S’more or granola bar at the end of a long hot summer day. So I learn how to make a pineapple upside down cake (and a cherry cobbler) on a campfire in a Dutch oven and taught the girls how to do the same. I Brush My Teeth in the Shower I know it sounds a little strange but it makes sense. I like to stand under the hot water and let the water relax the muscles in my back and shoulders like everyone else. And since that can take a few moments, I decided to multitask and save water by brushing my teeth. It actually helps me brush them longer and concentrate on doing a good job. I guess there’s something about brushing in front of a mirror that makes me feel more rushed. NOTE to my dentist: I floss my teeth while I’m waiting for the shower water to get to the right temperature BEFORE I get in the shower. ![]() I hate all scary movies and commercials I didn’t like them as a teenager and I don’t like them now. Carrie, Amityville Horror, Rosemary’s Baby, and The Exorcist were movies that messed me up as a kid. And I think any child under fourteen that says they enjoy watching scary movies is lying. They really hate them as much as I do but they don’t want to be excluded from the older kids or their family members that want to watch a horror movie. I’ve never saw the point of being scared for entertainment. I don’t want to be scared so much that I’m desensitized to being afraid. When something frightens me I want my ‘fight or flight’ mechanism to activate quickly and save my life. I don’t want to be standing around wondering if the horror moment is real or fake. And when I scream for my lung out, everyone one of my neighbors and family members better come running to my rescue because I’m NOT watching some scary movie turned up too loud. I Love a Man’s Back and Shoulders More Than His Abdominals I think this goes back to when teenage boys play ‘the shirts’ against ‘the skins’ in basketball. I remember watching my brother and his friends play at the community courts in the hot Washington DC sun. I always cheered for ‘the skins’ because they looked great. But it was never the abs and biceps that I found fascinating; it was their strong backs because of the wisdom my grandfather imparted. He explained to me the history of my ancestors, how many proud, strong black men had badly scarred backs during slave times and hid their scars from the view of others, even their family members. So when you see a man that proudly shows his unscarred back note the beauty, strength, and masculinity of his maleness. Be proud that those days are over and that no matter what the world throws at him, he’ll demonstrate his ability to bare that weight of any difficult to protect himself and his family. I Wanted Billy Dee Williams to be my Stepdad He was smooth, handsome, and knew what a woman needed before she had a chance to vocalize it to herself. At least that’s how it seemed when I watch him in his movie roles Lady Sings the Blues and Mahogany. The fact that my mother was also riveted to the television screen whenever he made an appearance just cemented my selection was a good one. Now I didn’t like that he was the spokesman for Colt 45 malt liquor or that he seemed to have more than one woman on his arm at Hollywood premieres but he was a great leading man. If Diana Ross’ character wanted him to love her so desperately and women were screaming ‘I love you, Billy Dee’ whenever he began to speak at a microphone, then he must have been doing something right. Besides, after my mother watched one of his movies she was always humming as she cooked dinner. And any man that could make her hum around the house was alright with me. ***Special thanks and shout out to author Nia Forrester for highlighting my blogging efforts. She’s a woman of tremendous talent and exquisiteness and I’m proud to call her my friend.***
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