A Full Circle Moment – Holiday Reflections

I’ve been fighting from the moment I came into this world.  

As a premature baby, with only 29 weeks of gestation, I fought for every breath and heartbeat for the first months of my life. My name doesn’t come from honoring a family member.  No, it was given in preparation for my death.  In case, I returned to God to be one of Heaven’s cherubs. 
 
Today, when I look closely at my abdomen, I see faint scars from hospital tubes that once performed functions my body wasn’t strong enough to do.  Once weighing around three pounds, I fought for warmth, air, rest... peace, with each beep of the machines in a newborn intensive care unit. 
 
It wasn’t fair.  No, the way I came into this world wasn’t fair but those are the cards I was dealt.  It’s a history I cannot re-write or erase.

What I know today, as I stand here at the beginning of a new chapter in my life, is that I’m fighter, and my fighting instincts continue to serve me in every unfair battle I face. People doubted me from the moment I came into this world, so believe me when I tell you CAN do it, even when the odds are against you.

Last year, during the Spring of 2010, I found myself struggling to make my novel a reality.  I questioned my desire to be a writer, my writing ability, even why I had degrees of English and Literature hanging on my wall.  That was when I pleaded with God to just show me… help me see what my next step should be. He gave his answer but it wasn’t easy to execute.  

There were some unsupportive people in my inner circle that I had to move out of my life, and I had to rearrange my schedule to write when other people were sleeping or spending time with their friends and family members.  I had to pay my dues in order to see the rewards.  I had to stretch myself in ways I wasn’t use to just to gain momentum, so I could feel my reality changing.  And one night, when I wondered if all of this effort was going to pay off, I watched Tyler Perry receive the NAACP Chairman’s Award.  His acceptance speech hit something in my spirit. His words reminded me to keep fighting for my dream; it wasn’t time to give up.  My breakthrough was on the horizon.

I’m glad I never stopped working, hoping and believing I could bring the Sheridan series to you and your friends.  North Star is the beginning of a wonderful romance collection that I’m crafting just for you.  And when the series and many others are done, you’ll understand why a little premature baby fought for every breath and heartbeat.  I was meant to make you think about love in a way that will challenge
your heart.  And I truly hope you’ll be inspired to love differently and more openly.

 Enjoy your holidays,
 ---AMB

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