Don't Make Assumptions, Ask Questions Instead

“Don't Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama.”

 ~ Miguel Angel Ruiz

Many couples argue about what the other person meant when they said something. This process starts when one person listens to their partner’s words, and converts those words into their own meanings, and then repeats back their translation, making their partner responsible for that translation and the new meaning behind it.

Of course the person doing the translating is making a massive assumption, that they understand the intention behind their partner’s words. That’s completely wrong. Making an assumption is a dangerous game, because we’re already socially conditioned to think the worst first.

Assumptions are wild guesses pretending to be facts. Most of the assumptions we make, come from our past experiences and habits of thought that we recall when we’re emotionally triggered to worry. But let’s face the facts; you just cannot assume that you know what is going on in other people’s lives, minds and hearts. If you are going to make an assumption, always assume your partner loves you, even when it seems like they don’t.

Before you make any assumptions about what someone’s thinking or doing, see how the drama factor can go down radically once you have the courage to ask ‘what’s going on’? 

Just take a breath and relax into knowing that there’s nothing really to assume anyway. It’s a waste of energy and time to engage in that kind of guesswork and conjecture when the truth will ultimately reveal itself over time.

So assume less. And wait for proof. You’ll be glad you did. Because even if the news isn’t what you were wanting or expecting, it’s still never worse than the assumptions you made.

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