A Letter to My Daughters

Every parent wonders if their child will remember the wisdom they’ve tried to impart over the years. My two college-aged daughters are interested any advice I can convey about life, careers, and love, and as a romance writer they’re watching my love choices closer than ever before. (Like I really need that kind of pressure as a single parent.) This post shares some of the advice I’ve written to them in personal letters:

When it comes to life:
Your happiness should never be strongly tied to the actions of others. Joy is about internal fulfillment; if you can’t find bliss within yourself you’ll be afflicted with moods swing based on your personal interactions.

Never defer pursuing your dreams. Time is not on your side, you’re getting older so give things a try and see what happens.

Watching TV is the biggest waste of creative time. It’s one thing to watch a few of your favorite programs but it’s delusional to spend hours and hours watching reality TV stars live their lives, while you don’t live yours.

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You can’t please everyone so stop trying. You will fail at many things and excel in others. People will agree with your opinion and also reject them vigorously.  Pick your battles wisely and don’t let anyone shake your confidence.

Sing and dance whenever possible. It’s not only a great form of expression but it relieves stress.

Never hold a grudge or try to win every argument. It won’t make you a better person or a happier one.

Love your sister for the memories you share and the ones you are yet to create. I know DNA doesn't make people act like family but never purposely cause each other any pain.

When it comes to love:
Everyone is seeking love, validation, security and happiness.  If you aren’t helping to facilitate a person’s process in getting that, then walk away because you’re doing more harm than good.

When it comes to figuring out if a man is romantically interested in you, ignore what he says and just pay attention to what he does. Yes, it’s that simple. It worked in your great-grandmother’s day and it holds up today.

When you get your feelings hurt or your heart gets broken, try to let the tears fall in private. And remember only you can define your destiny so see the gift in goodbye.

Everyone needs some form of love to not to feel lonely but constantly seeking a mate isn’t always the answer. Family, friends, pets are great forms of support and devotion too.  

A man should always love a woman a little more than she loves him.  Women are giving nurturers by nature so any man that can appreciate and lust after his woman without prompting will never be without affection.

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