Writing the Dream

There are times in my life when I'm focused, driven and determined to achieve my goals.  And then there are times when I'm unfocused due to my own lack of direction or poor personal decisions.   Today was one of those unfocused days. 

I’ve been having a little bit of a time with my personal life.  Heck, I have no shame in that department.  I’ll humbly admit it.  It seems that the life of my most recent boyfriend is complicated to the point where I need to step back.  Breathe.  Refocus.  I really think a friendship-driven bond will be healthy for all parties involved.   And my big brother, Ken; my sistafriends and extended family are throwing their full support behind that decision.  I’m thankful for all of their wisdom but I’m a little disheartened by the outcome of this latest development. 

As many of you know I’m a divorced mother of two beautiful daughters, and as said divorced woman I know a thing or two about balancing life's pleasures and I recognizing what real unconditional love is.   At present, I have no desire to reject love when it makes its presence known but it still eludes me.

Part of me thought my problem is that I’m a strong woman with my mind set clearly on my future, with my children forefront in my mind.  I’m also so confident with myself that I won’t put up with too much of a guy’s crap. I guess I’m old school in that regard; I have too much self respect to let any man take that away from me.

And my biggest deterrent stepping away from a drama filled relationship is that I’m raising two young women.  So I really can’t afford to set a bad example in the relationship department.   I really hope God will work out what is best for me because I refuse to get myself stressed out about affairs of the heart.  Drama expected between the covers of a romance novel but it’s upsetting when it appears in your personal life.